Dust in the Wind
by Patchwork Poltergeist
Summary: (Songfic to Dust in the Wind) Zim reflects on the Tallest's betrael and what now awaits him. UPDATED!
1. Dust in the Wind

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You already know who Invader Zim belongs too, and the song _Dust in the Wind _ belongs to Kansas. I'm very new to songfics, so go easy on me

It was night. Almost morning, four in the morning to be exact. Almost everyone in the city was asleep in their beds. Emphasis on almost. A small figure stood on the roof of a his house, a tiny black silhouette on the moon on Earth. Zim was out of his disguise, but he didn't notice at the time, and if he did he wouldn't have cared, for something else occupied his mind. His neck stretched as his head tilted back staring into the deep bright regions of the stars taking in the night air

__

I close my eyes,  
only for a moment  
and the moment's gone

He groaned and put his head in his gloved hands and shut his eyes tightly. How could he have missed it? How on Irk could he miss that trick they had played on him. It was right in front of him all along. He only stopped paying attention for one second, the second when he had been given another chance.

__

All my dreams, pass before  
my eyes a curiosity

Yes. That was what blinded him. His joy at his Tallest trusting and believing in him again had rendered him blind. He had been so full of joy at a chance to bring doom only two weeks ago…now it was only a memory… He still remembered what he'd seen in his mind's eye when he first set foot on this little dirt-rock of a planet. A great vision of a world completely dominated, the inhabitants put to good use and the once useless rock thriving with prosperity; a proud badge on the glorious vest of the Irken Empire. 

__

Dust in the wind, All we  
are is dust in the wind

Now he could almost see his dreams crumble to soft powder and softly blow away in the soft Earthen air never to be seen, spoken, or thought of ever again. Lost forever in the bottomless pool of broken dreams.

__

Same old song, just a drop  
of water in an endless sea

Zim's crimson eyes opened and saw the city in the distance and for once truly wondered about the humans in that city. So many successful people chatting their lives away, not even noticing what surrounded them. He remembered when he and GIR traveled to the city, they had seen many look at them oddly, which he at first took as awe of his amazing power. Now he knew. They were other failures. People that had set out to make a true difference in the world, to have true purpose and to be smacked down my the harsh hand of fate. And…now that he thought of it, those humans..the poorest and most saddest of all didn't look at him oddly, but as though he were their brother. And in a way he was. He was just another once optimistic failure in a never-ending collective of other failures. Someone who the world would never know. Someone who had true potential lost, to be seen again.

__

All we do, crumbles to the  
ground though we refuse  
to see

Zim plopped down onto the roof, forcing his body to slide down the slanted roof a bit. He'd heard of this scenario dozens of times before in skool. Bitters was fond of explaining all the once great empires that dominated the earth crumble and fall so fast that no one even had time to blink. Great civilizations that once held the world in awe of it's might and beauty. Egypt, Rome, Greece, all once the richest in the land now not even a memory. Irken empire would fall to the same fate. Nothing left but ruins of a former paradise. Of course such a thought had never crossed his mind and unlikely it had crossed any irken's for Irk was invincible and would never die. But then…he had once felt like that, unbeatable, unstoppable. If he could fall and crumble in a blink of an eye, so could Irk.

__

Dust in the wind, All we  
are is dust in the wind

And who's to say that anyone will be remembered? In that sea of stars up there is there really a purpose for what we do? Or are we all just unimportant specks of dust to be flicked away? He thought to himself. 

__

Don't hang on, nothing  
lasts forever but the  
earth and sky

"Hey ZIM! I see you up there and whatever you've got planned won't work!" Zim's antennae lifted as he heard the sound of the Dib child from the roof of his own house. Someone yelled and threw something and the boy "booted" off. He smiled sadly to himself. _Silly human. I wonder when you will learn of my sham of a conquest? Will you go on to another task, sit in depression that you gave all that work for nothing, or will you refuse to accept it and continue to peruse me? _That was certainly something he would not do. He had sat in his base for the past two weeks trying desperately to convince himself that this was all a bad dream, a mistake, a miscalculation, _something! _He clung on with desperate claws as if pleading for fate not to cast him this final stone. 

__

It slips away, all your  
money won't another  
minute buy

"I can't believe it's all gone…" They were the first words out of his mouth in fourteen days. Yes. It was gone. But how he would have given anything for it not to be so. For his mission to be real, for acceptance. He would have ripped off his very limbs, torn out his squeakily-spooch with his bare hands, and fed them to the rats of Blortch for him to ever harbor the _illusion _that he had a reason for being.

__

Dust in the wind, All we  
are is dust in the wind

A light shined on the roof tile behind him. GIR strode up to his master cautiously. He had never seen Master so sad before and that made him sad too. Zim lifted an arm to shoo him away so he could be alone with his thoughts..but decided not to. The small robot sat beside him and held a muffin to his face "Want some Master?" Zim sighed and took a small bite of the muffin and GIR climbed on his lap staring him in the face "Do that make you feel happy master?" He looked back at the SIR staring up at him with bright aqua eyes so full of naiveté. _You don't even remember Irk do you GIR? You just know Earth. I don't know if you even know anything at all…you don't have these sad thoughts..only dull bliss. How I envy you GIR_. 

Zim lifted his hand and patted him on his little tin head "Yes GIR. That makes me happy"


	2. Sound the Bugle

AN: Well I wasn't really planning on writing a second chapter to thins thing, but I happened to be watching _Spirit _last night, and one of the songs seemed to fit Zim pretty well. Plus, there was a big gap between _"Dust in the Wind" _and it's sequel _"What A Scene". _This takes place right after Zim turns himself in. So now, here it is. Hope you like it. R/R please.

__

Sound the bugle now …play it just for me   
  


Zim leaned against the slick glass wall of the tank staring at the metal floor below him. The truck carrying him rattled violently as it passed over a pothole. He closed his eyes silently and let out a silent moan of defeat. Outside the evening wing had begun to howl and was slowly finding it's way into the back of the truck he was in, swirling around the tank, making it fog a bit. Zim had been loaded in that he was being moved from the lab in Chicago, where he had stopped so that the researchers could show him off in yet another presentation, to a research facility in Dallas, where he would stay as long as necessary. 

_As the seasons change, remember how I used to be _

Irkens lived a live span at least three times as long as a humans. And he knew in his long life that he had many memories. Of himself, a proud irken soldier, ready to gladly die for the invasion if necessary, his entire heart in his mission. Eyes ever defiant to whatever dared to oppose his might. Although the moment happened years ago, 10 years in fact, he could still remember that fateful day as if it happened only seconds ago. Yes..he remembered. He remembered the moment when he first stepped in front of the army scientist that had come to take him away…his head down, looking at his feet. Dib had stared at him in awe expecting him to shout, complain, attack, or _something_. To do something more…Zim-like. Not to just let himself be taken away to his doom. GIR had been there too, standing beside his former nemesis with wide robotic eyes staring at his master, bewildered at what was happening. He had turned for a brief moment and given them both a small traditional salute. To tell the truth, he'd rather have screamed and protested, just for Dib, to let him hold on to his illusion, not to let him see the great "Invader" Zim in such a state. To be left with the defiance in the heart of every irken soldier whoever lived. But..his heart wouldn't let him.

__

Now I can't go on …I can't even start   
I've got nothing left , just an empty heart   
_I'm a soldier, wounded so I must give up the fight   
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...   
Or leave me lying here _  


He groaned at the memory and wished that he'd enough spirit left to fight. At least a little. But his will had died. His spirit had perished. Now but an empty shell of what he used to be. Nothing but old memories and dead dreams of what may have been to plague him for whatever number of days he had left. A smiled sadly to himself. _A solider. A soldier of the irken army. I go to fight, I go to death. Such is the life of those loyal to the armada. And like those before me, I have fought…I fought for the chance to fight, I fought for forgiveness, I fought to reassemble what little chance I had left to make you proud of me, my Tallest. And like all the soldiers before me. I too must die… _No. not dead..but mortally wounded, useless and unable to fight his battle. Left to watch from the sidelines and slowly slip into despair. At least when he was fighting, he at least had the illusion of There was nothing for him now.And nothing to do but let the humans lead him to his almost certain demise. 

  
_Sound the bugle now ….tell them I don't care   
There's not a road I know that leads to anywhere   
Without a light I fear that I will _

Stumble in the dark   
Lay right down - decide not to go on 

From outside one of the scientists glanced in back of the truck to see how he was doing back there and called out mockingly to him. Zim didn't hear him. Countless experiments had been preformed on him, leaving him rather weaker than before of course, but he cared nothing for it. He did not when the first began, and he didn't care now. Thanks to the former invader's body structure, his body wasn't going down so easily, weather he cared or not. Zim didn't truly know where we has going, what his fate now was, what would become of it. And he did not care. It did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore. All his life one thing drove him so that his spirit shone with the radiance it once did: the hope, just the hope that he could make up for his past mistakes. To do something so great, so awesome, so spectacular that not only the Tallest, but all of Irk, no the entire universe would not consider him just small irken, but someone significant. Someone worthy of the Tallest's praise, someone worthy of all the songs Irk itself sung. The song was a bright beacon that lit his path, no matter how bumpy that path got. Not that beacon of light had died, and his spirit had died with it. Now he was but a lowly Blorch rat stumbling blind and helpless in the dark. And it did not matter where that darkness look him.

__

Then from on high, somewhere in the distance   
There's a voice that calls - remember who your are   
If you lose yourself your courage soon will follow 

Then something- he didn't know what- inspired Zim to lift his green head and take a look outside of his tank. He could now see through a metal hole in the rickety truck, the stars,. And through those stars, the planet, _his_ planet, Irk. He blinked his crimson eyes and stared at it. The planet, although seemingly lost and nearly impossible to see, a tiny pebble in the sea of stars, shone to him and was brighter than all the suns and stars of the universe put together. "A disgrace to the armada. A disgrace to them, and a disgrace to Irk" that's what the Tallest said to him. And supposedly that's what the entire army thought of him to. And was he, the great Invader -yes, that's not what he imagines he was, but what he really, and truly, **_was_**: an invader- about to just roll over and die never to be heard from again!? Was he going to just give up like withering earth beast and let himself sink into the hands of these filthy earth monkeys, just because off what someone else thought of him!? Was he going to just give up like that?! As he stared at his home planet his large eyes narrowed and turned back to his surroundings, his head held high. The answer was held in his fiery eyes. One answer, a truth that once again flamed madly in the depths of his soul, an answer that suddenly made him leap to his feet, his gloved irken fists clenched in determination. This answer was:

__

So be strong tonight - remember who you are   
Ya you're a soldier now, fighting in a battle   


No. no, he was not, could not. _I have come too goddamn far to just give up now _Zim stood in his glass tank and reached into his left boot, pulling out a small laser weapon in the shape of a dagger. The alien was a bit surprised he still had it after all this time…guess they failed to examine his uniform properly. How like a human. He took one last look at his own reflection in the glass, at someone who had realized what he was, and what he had come for. His face turned a bit grim with determination and he backed up a bit, then took a small running start and kicked out, easily shattering the glass sending it sprawling all across the cold steel floor, ignoring the few cuts that now graced his body as a result. The human in the passenger's seat took a look behind at what the sound was and his glasses lifted in his surprise. He yelled something at them driver who yelled back. Zim ignored them and leaped to the back door of the truck and lashed out at it with his dagger, slicing through the steel like a knife through butter. 

To be free once more 

The truck jerked and severed on the now icy road and fell to it's side. The human in the passenger seat groaned and stared thorough the window at him, his eyes wide in astonishment, ignoring the trickle of blood running down his forehead. Zim gave his famous evil grin at him. He leaped out of the vehicle and ran off into the frigid night. His antennas held high, slipping a bit as his boots met the icy road, but he didn't care. He was free.  


__

Ya that's worth fighting for  


He ran to the top of a nearby hill, the grass shining with ice in the pale moonlight. He was an inky silhouette in the winter sky. He puffed out his chest, his eyes gleamed and with all his might, not caring who may hear him, he shouted "ZIM IS FREEEEEEE!!!! Do you hear me human stink-beasts?! I am free and none of you can do a damn thing about it! I will show you! I'll show this stupid planet, the tallest, all of Irk, _every single one of you_ that Zim is not one to get rid of that easily!" And with that, he slipped off into the darkness, he had his job to do, only this time he was a soldier on his own terms. And no one was going to take that away from him.

  



End file.
